costumes!

Let's talk Halloween for a moment.

In a fit of craziness my sister, while I was visiting her at work (at my father's office. This is a family affair. She is now A Big Time Fordham Law School Student at night, and working her way through her days as a receptionist for my father instead of her old hoity toity job the description of which I couldn't remember if you paid me. She was like Chandler, who you knew was big and important and got paid a lot, but if it came to a trivia contest and you were asked her job description, you would totally lose your apartment to the boys' team).

What was I saying? I lost my thread there. Oh, right, while visiting her at work she brought up the company's Web site from whom she bought her costume. She's going as Daphne from Scooby Doo, and her boyfriend is Fred. I don't think I could have imagined a better matchup.

So, I start clicking through the costumes. And I see Marilyn Monroe. And I think...why not?

Why not indeed. So I order two costumes, one the cheapy and one a nicer one from a different store, because I had a sneaky feeling the cheapy one would be...cheapy. Boy was I right. The thing is see-through and the V-neck dips to my freaking navel and it's a gross satin and the skirt isn't even PLEATED. A Marilyn white dress that's not pleated! WTF?!

But the official, REALLY nice looking one is $200. No way. I found one for less than half that at another place, and this one came yesterday, and it's pleated and pretty and will look good ... if a little risque.

And the wig. The wig, which is supposed to be this official Marilyn wig, is like a patch of burnt grass sitting on top of my head. My hair shows at the edges. There's no discernible shape. I need to go find something that fits my head. I think my head is just too big.

Except now I feel I'm a little insane. MARILYN MONROE! What am I thinking? People are going to try and lift my skirt all night! I've got two parties back to back and they're going to do this at both.

Lucky for me David might come and protect me. I told him to dress as Elvis or JFK. But I'm not singing happy birthday to anyone.